Parents love giving advice to their grown kids, at least this parent does. Advice, though, is not always welcomed or well-received. My husband is always reminding me, “They’re not asking.” And he’s right. Sometimes our kids don’t ask because they’ve already made up their minds and don’t want to change them; sometimes it’s because they want to figure things out for themselves; sometimes they already know what I’m going to say because I’ve said it one hundred times before and they don’t need to hear it again. Sometimes they’re not asking because they’re not yet ready to hear advice — they’re still running ideas through their own filtering processes and it’s too soon to hear what their mom (or anyone else) thinks.
My husband’s good reminder doesn’t just apply to children, though. It can apply to our aging parents or our work colleagues or our best friends. And for artists and entrepreneurs, this can be especially true when we’re in the early stages of creating something new. It’s important to protect our fledgling ideas as they try to take hold, so advice is not always welcome in the early stages.
What people do want, even if they’re not asking, is for you to show interest in the work they do, provide support and encouragement, and offer to give advice or feedback if/when they decide that might be helpful.
